Eugene, My Brother. Forever Young.

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httpv://youtube.com/watch?v=Uv1X_1j3hck

I do not know how to start this post. And if a blogger needs to be inspired to blog, then I am not a blogger tonight. For tonight, it is not inspiration that prompts me to write. It is grief. Tonight, after a week of blogging hiatus, I come back to blog not of excitement but of sadness. I have been restraining myself from writing about this but I guess doing so is an important part of healing — healing for the entire family. And so, here goes. I have lost a brother.

Photo taken on February 11, 2008 at the

De La Salle University Medical Centerin Dasmariñas, Cavite .

Eugene graduated B.S. Physical Therapy at DLSU-Dasma

He is, to be precise, my brother-in-law, my husband’s brother, Eugene. He’s been battling it out with an undiagnosed/misdiagnosed/under-diagnosed condition ( and I say that with great emphasis because many months have been wasted trying to contain the symptoms but never arrest the underlying cause itself) since late last year, and it is both disappointing and heartbreaking to see him never to have fully-recovered from that condition. He was even initially believed to have an auto-immune disease due to his body’s reaction to antibiotics, so some doctors thought he had some sort of lupus. From one doctor to another, Eugene didn’t seem to get any better. It was only when he was taken to the Kidney Institute by another doctor’s advice (suspecting that antibiotics have damaged his kidneys) that a “murmur” heard through the usual heart check via stethoscope prompted his doctor to recommend a 2D echo test that confirmed that he did had a heart problem. He had Infective Endocarditis, and he needed to undergo surgery the soonest possible. We were filled with hope after his successful heart surgery, so much so that we seemed oblivious to the tragedy up ahead. I remember telling Eugene on a visit to the Philippine Heart Center where his operation was done, that “the worst has come to pass” and that he should get better soon enough, and that all he had to do was relax, eat and gain strength. Little did I know that I was wrong. I was wrapped in my bubble, too complacent and perhaps too optimistic. So, off I went, lived life as usual and thought to myself, it’s only a matter of time, Eugene will get well, so maybe I don’t need to visit him in the hospital anymore. To this day, I regret that thought, I abhor that complacency. I should have visited more often. I should have talked to him some more. I should have told him how good a guy he is and how his little quiet ways has earned him a sure place in God’s heaven.

I should have told him how good a guy he is and how his little quiet ways has earned him a sure place in God’s heaven.

He is mostly quiet, that is true — a man of few words, as others would describe. But Eugene was a true testament to the saying that “action speaks louder than words”. He is not the mushy type that would tell his family that he cared a lot for them. He wasn’t that. No sir. He would rather let you feel it, see it manifest in all the things he does , all for the love of his family. You may think I write this because he is gone, and because anyone who dies always gets good comments and sentiments from everyone. Not me. Not Eugene. He is all these and more. I write this if only to state the obvious. If only to add a little more credit to the already overly credited personality of Eugene known to family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and classmates. In fact, there is nothing I can write here or elsewhere that can add to how well Eugene is regarded by people he has been with and touched one way or the other. He is Eugene Marmol. He is no hero, no prophet, no celebrity — but he is everything to us. His actions, not words, will remain cherished and treasured for as long as we live.

Perhaps now, I can rightfully say that “the worst has come to pass” and “the best has come upon you”.

Probably one of the most agreeable person I’ve met so far, ever helpful to those who need assistance, ever ready to extend his support and ever happy to see you get over the slightest problem there is. Whenever I needed help, Ritchie was there, and so was Eugene. Aiding his brother even in the littlest way he can, he does not solicit gratitude nor recognition. He just helps and helps and helps, like an Energizer bunny happily waving a “I’m here to help” sign. I haven’t seen him at work, but I know he works with such passion and dedication unequaled by many of his generation. In this day of too many distractions, he prefers small family gatherings and meet-ups, fastfood dinners with his mom and siblings over anything else mundane. After his older bro, Ritchie (my husband) got married, he has been the strongest pillar in the house, his steady nature and prudence has made life easier for their mom who’s had her fair share of problems. Eugene will surely be missed. And forever loved. The 28 years of his life here on earth has been fruitful and meaningful. He has left, but we will soon see him again. We are comforted knowing that he is in a place lovelier than this world, in a place where he doesn’t need new heart valves…where coughing will no longer give him pain, where he can play basketball again..where he can help us more by lobbying for us when we need God’s help.

Goodbye for now Eugene. Perhaps now, I can rightfully say that “the worst has come to pass” and “the best has come upon you”.You are now where you really belong in the first place — in God’s company. To quote a friend’s comment on your YouTube tribute video, “job well done”. See you in another life, brother! :)

Suggested Further Reading:

• A Tribute to My Brother, Eugene
• It’s Been Nine Days, Eugene.
• Visiting Eugene…
• Nine Days After

Tags: eugene marmol, family