“Not now” Doesn’t Mean “Never”

Post Page Rank

A retrograde planet will always urge you to look back and fix things that have been left unfinished or unresolved. In that case, the universe is trying to help you by showing you the whole picture so that you can move on with your life. - Aries horoscope, March 2009

When I was a kid, I hated hearing "no" and "not now." To me, "no" and "not now" only meant the same thing -- it meant "never".

It meant I'm "never" gonna get that toy or watch that movie or play outside.

When I grew up, I still hated hearing "no" and "not now". To me, it meant I will never get that shiny gadget, that promising job, or marry my one true love.

I blame myself partly. I blame my attitude towards things, people and events. I blame the fact that I was never good at waiting. I see waiting as nothing but a slow process of a torture of letting me know that there isn't anything to look forward to in the first place.

Waiting is like that jerk of a boyfriend who, after realizing he doesn't like you anymore, or never really liked you in the first place, doesn't have the guts or balls if I may, to tell it to your face, so instead he resorts to vexing -- in the hopes that you'll get the bombs of hints he's dropping and eventually relieve yourself of the agony by doing the dirty task of cutting the ties that bind. Perfect escape executed. End of story. Good riddance.

Now, to correlate that with the realities of life -- we are surrounded by vexatious people, no doubt about that. Everyday, they bombard us with "no's" and "not now's". They tell us that "no" -- it's not possible or "not now" -- you can't have it. "No" -- it's not for you. "Not now" -- somebody else deserves it.

Well, I say, screw it. Screw these people who belittle your ambitions. Screw these bastards who think you don't deserve anything more than what you're getting now. Life is meant to be "lived" -- by you. By your guidelines. By your standards. Not anybody else's.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great.” - Mark Twain

Sure they can kick you and push you into that little corner, brainwash you and attempt to take away what little pride you have left. But don't you let them. Don't you let them win. Don't you ever let them relish the sight or even the thought of crushing your spirit. You're better than that.

Let me tell you now -- after 30 long years of existence, that "not now" doesn't mean never. So hold on to that dream. Hold on to that promise. Sure, it may take a while -- maybe even a lifetime. But while you wait, and everytime you feel you want to give up the fight -- the dream -- remember what I told you: "not now" does not mean "never". It may mean "hang in there" or "you're almost there", but definitely not "never". Let that sink in for a moment. And then wait some more. After all, good things come to those who wait.

That dream house? Not now.

That dream job? Not now.

That dream car? Not now.

:)

Suggested Further Reading:

• Waiting For My Real Life To Begin: A Personal Reflection In Anticipation Of Year 2009
• Waiting In Vain
• I Like Endings
• Thoughts that keep me awake at night
• Here’s to You, My “Crazy Love”

Popularity: 1% [?]